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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Life's Distractions & Anxiety



Ever since I was young, I've always been driven to do everything as perfect as possible. I was taught to give 110% in everything I did, from school work, to dressing nice and making myself presentable, to sports, to cleaning the house. 

As I've gotten older, not much has changed. I graduated with my Bachelors Degree Cum Laude while at the same time owning my own business, paying all my own bills and supporting myself, planning a wedding, and buying a house my senior year of college. In the midst of my college years, I also had cervical cancer that I beat. Most people in my life didn't even know I had it because I didn't have time for anymore distractions! I joined Oak Ridge Baptist Church (my home church) in 2009 and joined the college ministry as well as college small group. I didn't miss many Sunday morning services and I was doing all the RIGHT STEPS. I time managed and everything had it's blocked time. 

I didn't however give time to God nor read his word. Where could I fit that in?

It wasn't until August 2012 that I broke down from not being able to get pregnant and finally let God take control of my life. My perfectionist side didn't like this one bit because I wasn't in control anymore. God drastically started changing my life, changing my plans that I had been planning for years. 

And now here I am, a totally different person. I am still driven and still a perfectionist but I have God here guiding me along and using those personality traits that he gave me to do what he wants me to do. 

I found a story in the bible that hit home with me. It's about two sisters named Martha and Mary.

Luke 10:38-42

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered,“you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I used to be Martha, keeping myself busy with things that didn't matter. Working a job that didn't really matter in the whole scheme of things. What matters is giving time to God to let him integrate himself in to everything in your life. 

I'm definitely not perfect at this. I'm still obsessed with having my house spotless! Even to the extent of exhaustion and anxiety when it's not done. I also fill my schedule with three jobs and a million and a half hobbies.

But being aware of your flaws is everything. I now spend time with God every day praying and reading the bible. I sing Christian lullabies to my son and I write this blog that hopefully will influence and help at least one person. I spend more time with my husband and son, I make sure I play with Liam the majority of my day and I write my blog while I rock him and he naps. 

It makes for such a happier person and it is good for your soul. God feeds your soul and without him it's hard to be whole and to just let go. 

My prayer for you today, is to just give control of your life to God and step back and breathe. Be happy and love simply through Jesus Christ.

God Bless,

Jess


3 comments:

  1. Love this Jess!!! You are so right. :)

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    1. Thank you girl!!! And thank you for the shout out on your blog!!!

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    2. Hehe no problem. :) I don't know how many people read mine- but I love it for personal thoughts hehe :)

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