I didn't understand then what Jesus actually did for me nor was I from a Family who attended Church regularly. My Family did however Prayed to God, bought me bibles and bible stories, told me I was protected by God, sent me to Vacation Bible School for a week every year, and we attended Church a couple times a year. I guess that is more than a typical Family.
As I became in to college age, I was being pulled in closer by God. He wanted me to find a Church Family. I then drug my then just boyfriend, now husband, around with me to multiple different Churches until I found the right fit for the both of us. We have now been attending our Church for 5 years and my Husband almost right away became a believer and accepted Jesus Christ in to his heart at only 19 years old, that first year we started attending.We both were baptized by full emersion on Septemer 20, 2009.
Throughout the years I definitely haven't been close to a good Christian. There is a lot that I wish I never had done. It took me until August 2012, when I was 23 to finally hit that wall and I gave myself completely to God.
It's almost like God has a strong grip on my life. When I think about sinning, he is there, in me reminding me that I am now a Child of his. When I do sin, I ask for forgiveness. I don't like disappointing my Father! Oh but how I do sin! Not half as much as before but I do. So I counter that urge by learning and building a stronger relationship with God. I want To be as close to him as possible!
My mind fights me so much that it can become a heavy burden sometimes. God has blessed me with a very logical and knowledge seeking mind. This makes me question everything! But God always brings me to the answers.
Just this morning I researched some main questions that have been forming for some time now and as a Christian, I was embarrassed to ask. If God is perfect, why did he let Adam, Eve, and Satan sin? Where did Cains wife come from? Why are there different nationalities and races? What happens to those who die without hearing about God? What happened to those people who died before Jesus came?
My mind is always racing constantly! I know that Jesus's story is real and I believe in God. I have faith that everything the bible says is the truth!!! I just have questions all of the time that drive me absolutely crazy because I just want to have a moment of just bliss for being one of Gods Children!
And then I go back to the fact that God is in control! He has set up everything to happen for a reason. So my million questions I have are to serve a purpose for him! Maybe it's to help an atheist find their way to God or help my 13 year old sister seek answers she needs to be baptized! Either way, I am just here to serve my God and live my life fulfilling the purpose he has made me for.
As an FYI, I found all of the answers I was seeking for. The bible can defend itself, you just have to read it ;)